Last week, while Daniel was away at his sister's for a few days, I baked a couple loaves of banana bread (his favorite) to suprise him when he came home. For those who read my last post, just to update you, the bread turned out better than I expected and he loved it. Not bad for a first try. The only downside has been this burn on my left hand that hasn't quite healed, and hurts a bit when it gets scratched on my jeans or something. After it happened I wasn't upset, I merely wrote it off as one of those things that happens when you're doing something for someone you care about (well...after the initial freak out of me having gotten a fairly bad burn on my hand).
The night before Daniel came back home, I got a message from one of his sisters telling me that Daniel had gotten me a surprise, I was going to love it, and she couldn't tell me what it was. After trying to beat it out of her over text message, Daniel finally called and was more excited than he has been in a while to let me know that he had a big surprise for me. That's all I was told. For those who know me, this is the worst thing anyone could do for me. I went crazy trying to figure out what it could be, and I even had a couple of friends try to give me some ideas. Nothing I could have imagined came close to the surprise I got Saturday afternoon. While Daniel had been up at his sister's, they had gone to a pet store, and Daniel had bought me a baby rabbit.
This was, without a doubt, one of the best surprises I have ever gotten from anyone. I used to raise rabbits when I was much younger, and haven't had a rabbit around the house (minus the wild ones that sometimes come in and out through the yard) in probably ten years or so. I couldn't have been any happier...until I finally stopped playing with my new pet. The expression he had on his face, knowing how happy he had made me, was one that I will never forget. In that moment, I have never felt more loved. Not because he went out and bought me something, or because he went out and did something for me, but because he was so excited to see me happy. We were talking a little later Saturday night, and he had asked me to make sure to try to bathe Aria (the name we agreed on for my adorable little dwarf rabbit) somewhat regularly. This wasn't an unusual request (seriously, if I'm going to keep her in the house, she needs to stay clean), but I asked him why he thought it was such an important issue. I was extremely shocked when he told me it was because he was allergic to pet dander. I've known forever that he's allergic to cats, but I guess I never really thought about the possibility of other animals. I thought it was really strange and asked him why he bothered to buy me a rabbit, knowing he was allergic. His answer was simple, like I should have known all along, "because I knew how happy it would make you."
This is when everything really sunk in. We, as humans, do some of the craziest and unexplainable things for the people we care about when we barely know them, and then eventually it tends to wear off a little once we're closer and more comfortable with them. Doesn't that seem a little backwards?
As a woman, I think we're even crazier at times, especially when we're trying to meet someone or just start dating someone. Think about it for a minute. We dress up (sometimes more than we normally would), we pay a little more attention to our makeup and hair, and we put ourselves out there. Who are we doing this for? If we were comfortable with ourselves, we would do these kinds of things for ourselves when we wanted to, not just to go out and meet someone new. Instead of being confident in who we are, and getting ready for ourselves, we drive ourselves crazy trying to impress other people, desparate for their approval to hide our own uncertainty and disapproval of ourselves. I was like this, and even worse for a while. I had plenty of male friends that I could go out and spend time with, but I never was ready to actually settle into anything. I would get hurt and disappointed at times because there would be those guys that it just wouldn't work out with, but I know it's because I needed to be able to be okay with myself before I could let anyone else be.
I had finally gotten to that point before Daniel and I started dating. I was happy with who I was and with what I was doing, and for only being 23, I thought that was a major accomplishment. When we first starting dating, we had gone through a period of time where we hadn't been able to talk or spend time around each other for a while (we've known each other for about ten or so years), so when we started spending more time with each other, I noticed that I made sure I looked nice (good hair, makeup, a little dressed up, etc). We've been friends for a while, so we were already comfortable around each other, and I noticed we got even more comfortable together as time passed. We can talk about pretty much anything and everything (he even listens to me read him my blog posts sometimes), and I am completely okay with us taking a day off when things get too stressful or crazy so we can sit around the house in our pajamas and have a movie marathon or something (which would be completely unheard of if it were any other guy).
That "comfort" word makes me nervous, though. It's a two-edged sword, this whole dating and relationship thing. In some relationships we complain because we don't feel comfortable around our partner. We long for the days of getting to sleep in late, staying on the couch all day watching whatever is on the TV, making breakfast in the afternon, and being totally and completely comfortable with that. At the same time, in other relationships we grype because things are "too comfortable", and we wish things were more exciting and fun (or at least not the same ALL of the time). So where is this grey area of a perfect relationship?
I think it's our job (whoever you might be: boyfriend, wife, best friend, daughter, father, etc.) to do what we can to find this grey area. It's not the same for every person or every relationship, so it may take time to figure it all out. Be patient with your loved one, and try to find a grey region that works best for you. Little surprises keep things happy and interesting, and they don't have to be expensive or elaborate. Maybe take the trash out before being asked, or cook his favorite meal even though it takes longer than what you're normally used to.
One of the things I've learned lately is that you don't need to spend a whole lot of money or time on something to make someone happy. The little, random surprises here and there really add up and make everything more interesting, and make you take a step back and appreciate what you have. I think it's safe to say that we are all guilty from time to time of not realizing how great we really have it, even when things are a little rough. If we all took a few more minutes out of our day to appreciate what we have and to find something that we could do to make our loved ones just a little happier, we would literally have no room for complaints. Do we ever need a reason to do something nice or sweet for the people we love?
Ladies and gentlemen, let's make it a goal of ours to try to remember to make the little, random moments in our lives matter. If we could all think of and do one sweet gesture a week for those we love, think of how much happier we would all end up being. I challenge you, as well as myself. Let's see how much better we can make things for ourselves and others.
Until next time,
Abby <3
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